They Said What?

Thought I'd share a bit of local colorful news for those of you who might have missed it: a columnist for the Democrat-Gazette reported that a local news anchor wished "Martin Luther Coon" happy birthday last Monday! A zany slip of the tongue; he somehow jumbled the words "King" and "Junior," which came out as "Coon." Yeah, I know you're also looking at those two words and thinking "wow, I really stink at anagrams."

He apologized the next day -- he meant no offense. As the columnist noted, he is director of a Christian Ministry. Here's what offended the columnist: comments about the incident were mostly critical, "laced with bitterness, acrimony and spite." And that the true culprit is not the error itself, but the "knee-jerk reactions, wrathful accusations and uninformed assumptions it incited." Yeah, blame those people -- a bunch of malcontents looking for an excuse to air their stupid grievances.

While we're on the subject of Kr. King, am I the only one who thinks it's bizarre that he has to share his birthday with Robert E. Lee? And does the whole country do this or just southern states?

Speaking of southern states: this just in from South Carolina: Andre Bauer, the lieutenant governor (any kin to the guy who played Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies?) recently put his foot so far into his mouth that it came out his butt, saying at a recent town hall meeting:

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that."

So this is the guy who might well replace Mark "I might be strolling the Appalachian Trail but most likely I'm fucking a South American hot chick who's not my wife" Sanford? Being one of those scandal-loving types, I couldn't get enough of his lovesick puppy talk about his hot, sophisticated Argentinian mistress, his soul mate, the love of his life, the Queen of his Soul, the bacon to his fried egg.... but who, in the same breath, said he still wanted to work things out with his wife, dud though she must have been to force him to find solace elsewhere. Because it was an "impossible love." I think the guv should have gotten the John Bobbit treatment, and for good measure, have been duct-taped and sprayed with Easy Off. That would have certainly made love impossible, at least for a while.

Bauer will surely issue some standard "my comments were taken out of context" or "I was just illustrating that my granny was a heartless loser but look how good I came out! I throw nuts to the homeless every day!"

Anyway, the poor who might be offended by his comments need to get a life.