“…and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”
- Paulo Coehlo
Frankly, as a good friend would say: sometimes the universe has its head up its ass. It’s not a good time for me to take teacher training, to say the least. My husband is unemployed, I have a daughter in college, my job does not pay well, we have debt, the thought of being in the studio at 8 a.m. on WEEKENDS makes me crazy, I'm too old, I suffer from anxiety and am losing my mind and memory more every day...... and what if I fall and break my hip?
So of course I signed up. I’ve been feeling euphoric, panicked, absolutely ready for something new in my life, utterly convinced that I’ve made a ghastly mistake and everything in between. At first I signed up thinking it didn’t matter if I ever teach: I just want to find some missing and undiscovered parts of myself. On reflection, I’ve discovered that I want to be a teacher. I want my students to feel all buzzed and blissed out when they leave the studio or my porch or a lake or wherever I choose to teach. I’ve come to the studio before from a really bad day and with a chip on my shoulder and have left feeling at peace because of my yoga tribe. They give me more support than a good pair of Spanx.
Bonus: I am actually willing and eager to work for it, as opposed to some previous unfortunate behavior on my part, which was to want something REALLY bad, wait for it to come to me and be pissed when it didn’t arrive, all nicely packaged. This, unfortunately, will not stop me from whining during training: it’s too early! It’s too hard! It’s too hot! Sweetie peed on my homework! Wendy is so mean! I’m hungry! Everyone is better than I am! I can’t do this! How did I ever imagine I could do this? I’m not spiritual! I won’t graduate! I didn’t sign up to learn a foreign language – utta-say what?
“And suddenly you know: it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” Thank you, Meister Eckhart.
Dedicated with much love to Stephanie Young, a yogini who lights up the world. Here she is in all her glory.